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May 21, 2005
Vow to Change
A few weeks ago I posted an idea about wedding cards. But I now realize I wasn’t radical enough.
The entire wedding gift registry system is a foolish practice. Think about it! The soon to be married couple wanders around various stores looking for stuff they want. They search and they consider, they discuss and they argue, then finally they decide on what would be acceptable for their home. Laboriously, they scan product after product onto their wish list, what we pretentiously label a “gift registry.” And the department stores are more than happy to oblige.
How misguided we are! I’m in favor of wedding ceremonies, don’t get me wrong. But I think we need to be responsible about them. The couple should set a reasonable spending cap on their wedding. Then they should create a website ahead of time that informs all of the people who are invited to their wedding the amount they are going to spend on the ceremony and reception. In lieu of gifts, guests should be encouraged to help pay for the wedding. Every so often the website should inform them how much money has been raised. The amount the guests give is the amount the couple should spend. Cheap generosity equals a cheap ceremony. Invitees get what they pay for. Guests can no longer criticize a wedding, and the bride and groom should feel no obligation to impress anyone, but rather to spend their funds wisely.
Under this system, the newly married couple does not spend all of their financial resources on an elaborate wedding. Nor do they agonize about getting certain preferred items on their gift registry. Since they do not pay for the wedding (or get any gifts), they can use their money to buy the things they truly need for their home as they need them. (I think they will buy fewer things, and they will make better choices too.) Think about it, friends and family members should be excited about contributing to the celebration of a couple’s marital vows, not the salt and pepper shakers that get used for a little while and are then discarded.
Posted by fstone at May 21, 2005 8:29 PM
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